John Oates stopped by The A.V. Club recently on a tour promoting his new memoir, Change Of Seasons. We begged the Rock & Roll Hall Of Famer for the stories behind Hall & Oates classics like “Maneater” and “She’s Gone,” and he happily complied, but we weren’t expecting said stories to include a string of profanity and a penguin suit. The world traveler and thrill-seeker also included some riveting tales of his near-death experiences, in race cars, on top of mountaintops, etc. Assistant editors Danette Chavez and Gwen Ihnat were appropriately enthralled.

Watch us test John Oates on famous mustaches here.