Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Pissed Jeans: King Of Jeans

Pennsylvania’s Pissed Jeans came on like shitfaced drunks with their Sub Pop debut, Hope For Men, in 2007. Then the band more or less disappeared—or at least seemed conspicuously unconcerned with building upon that high-profile release via interviews and tours. Two years later, Pissed Jeans’ King Of Jeans feels at first like a blob of Hope For Men’s afterbirth. The disc’s opener, “False Jesii Part 2,” is practically indistinguishable from Hope’s bleary, bloodstained Jesus Lizard-isms. But a wonderful thing happens 37 seconds into the second track, “Half Idiot.” In what might charitably be called a chorus, the song becomes a whiplash blowjob as sickeningly sexy as In Utero’s ugliest bits. King is less choppy and far meatier than Hope, yet still clears room for the hardcore suckerpunch of “Human Upskirt” and the seven-minute dumpster-dive of “Spent.” King’s best lump of malignance, though, is “Dream Smotherer,” in which the band’s bored, horrified frontman Matt Korvette howls one of the greatest couplets in punk history: “I will help you make ends meet / if you will let me get some sleep.” In the past two years, Pissed Jeans has stewed in its own formidable digestive juices, and the result is a bold leap forward into hip-deep sludge.


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